Ted Lasso is back, and episode 2 gave me a leadership lesson I've lived through more times than I can count: Be curious, not judgmental.
Ted walks into a brand new team — women's soccer, a team he knows nothing about — and instead of coming in with a plan to change everything, he does something almost radical: he just… gets to know people first. He wants to know why the goalie doesn't wear gloves. He wants to know Coach Chilton's whole backstory before he decides what he thinks of her. He doesn't let other people's opinions color his own.
And can we just talk about how rare that actually is?
I've watched this play out in real organizations — mine included — over and over again. A new leader comes in, and within days someone pulls them aside and says "you need to watch out for so-and-so, they've got a bad attitude." And the new leader just… takes it. Discounts the person before ever really knowing them. I've seen it happen from the military to corporate finance teams, and I have never once seen it actually work the way the new leader thought it would.
Here's the thing — when I stepped into a leadership role earlier in my career, I got that exact warning about someone on my new team. I was told to write her off. I didn't. I got to know her myself instead. And what I found wasn't a bad attitude — it was someone who was overwhelmed, underdeveloped, and needed someone to actually believe in her. Years later, she's thriving, stepping into bigger roles, and I think about how differently things could have gone if I'd just taken someone else's word for it instead of forming my own opinion.
That's the real work of "be curious, not judgmental" — it's not just a nice sentiment, it's a discipline. It takes longer. It's less efficient in the short term. But it's the only way you actually build trust with a team instead of just making your mark on it.
This is also, not coincidentally, exactly why people seek out coaching. Almost every client I work with is in some kind of transition — a promotion, a new team, a new industry, a seat at a table they've never sat at before. And the leaders who navigate that best are the ones who resist the urge to rip everything apart and instead take the time to understand the "why" behind how things are — before they decide what needs to change.
So if you're in a transition right now — new role, new team, new anything — and you're feeling the pull to prove yourself fast: slow down. Get curious first. It'll serve you (and everyone you lead) so much better in the long run.
Have you ever had someone choose curiosity over judgment when they took over your team — or wish they had?